January 15, 2007
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Another Lovless One-shot
Okay, yah. Got bored and wrote an abuse fic. Yes, not the most pleasent of all topics, but I just do what my muse tells me to. If not, she threatens me with baseball bats and bloody hatchets... -_-;
So, Please tell me what you think! Also, AOBII chapter 4 should be out soon...already got a good page done after I finished this! I feel so special. Peace.A/N: Standard disclaimers apply. I'm not making any money and don't have any myself. Was written because my muse is on crack...
Where are you when I need you?
He couldn't feel anymore. Not even his nerves could register if what he was feeling was pain, pleasure, or even if anything was really happening at all. The only indication of anything was his blood pooling around him and running down pale, scarred skin. He never thought that she would get this bad, and hate him this much. He gave up of ever being saved as he looked into his mother's eyes, those eyes wild with hatred for what her son had become.
He couldn't even try to pretend he was 'her Ritsuka' anymore. It seemed that no matter what he did, she knew that he was the impostor in her son's body. Hiding had become ineffective, and the beatings were becoming progressively worse as time went on. He didn't have anyone to protect him anymore. Seimei was gone, his only protector was gone. Soubi, he didn't call because he was afraid that he would be called weak, or something would happen to his mother. He didn't want anything else bad to happen to the distraught woman, and was determined not to get the Fighter involved with this problem.
Why does it hurt so much to be numb, Seimei? Why can't I go back to being 'her Ritsuka'?
Faintly feeling another strike to his already battered and bleeding body, he could do nothing more then take his punishment. Maybe these beatings will make him disappear, and the real Ritsuka come back, to soothe his mother and maybe even let her finally grieve properly for her fallen eldest son. His breath shuddering, he knew that although he couldn't feel, that his body wasn't doing so well with the apparent blood loss. He knew that he would black out soon if he didn't at least try to do something. However, doing that something meant some sort of retaliation. Hadn't he hurt his mother enough?
Soubi...
He was struck in the face with the back of his mother's cruel hand. The ring she wore on her finger digging into his skin, causing it to bleed like the rest of him. Had that hurt? Maybe. He still couldn't really feel anything. It was a strong defense to this daily routine of torture, one he was sure that he had brought onto himself.
You said you would do anything for me. Why can't you hear my cries?
Feeling a tear run down his face as he watched his mother take in deep breaths, eyes still wild with deep hatred for her youngest son, Ritsuka could do nothing but pray to his two gods who most likely didn't hear him. One because he left him in this dark place alone, to fend for himself although it was always his command to run. Run into the safety of those arms that would forever defend him, and that left him alone. The other told a web of lies and deceits, until he couldn't decide what was fact or fiction. How many times had he tried to call on him, only to be blocked and evaded.
Will anyone save me? Or am I just doomed to be forever damned?
He was picked up by his collar, forced to glare into those never ending pools of hatred and not able to look away. Those eyes that once held recognition, hell, even love for his older brother, now held nothing but hatred for him, and who he had become. He was thrown into his room, the signal that he was done being beat for the day, beat for the sin of hiding himself so deeply within himself that he became a different person. He just sat there on his floor, staring at the door. Was this all that was left for him to look forward to? Or would he be saved?
Save me! Someone...just save me...
“Ritsuka.”
Turning around, he found his savior. His Fighter. The only one he knew who could truly save him from this fate of pain and torture.
“Save me,” Ritsuka replied, finally crumpling over in pain. It seemed that his nerves decided to work again, and they felt nothing but pain and anguish. “Don't let her kill me!”
He couldn't feel anything but the pain all over his body, and the comforting arms of his Fighter around his trembling body. He wasn't sure when he was moved, but he soon found himself on his bed, Soubi glaring at the door. Turning his gaze to it, he knew that he had a choice to make. Soubi could kill, the boy had a feeling that he had done it before. But she was his mother, could he really order her death? Even after all the wrong that she had cause him?
“Leave her alone,” Ritsuka finally said, turning over. “She's too cracked up to even cared if she died anyway.”
Soubi didn't say anything, but instead sat up against the door as his defense against the mad woman. He knew that Ritsuka wouldn't like it if he went against it and killed the woman anyway. He hated watching it get worse, the injuries on his Sacrifice's body become worse and worse as well as no longer centered around any part of the body. Was this a part of his training? His own twisted training?
“You are good enough Ritsuka,” Soubi said, looking toward the bed. “You don't need to push yourself like this.”
“It's punishment for my sin.”
“You have not sinned against her. If anything she has sinned against you.”
Ritsuka didn't answer. He knew that Soubi was right, ever since these beatings became more frequent and severe, he knew that his mother's 'sickness' had worsened. She didn't even recognized him as the 'fake' Ritsuka anymore, which slowly was killing him emotionally. He needed to get out of here, out of this environment and try to live as happily as he could...at least, that was what part of his mind kept yelling at him. The other part refused to believe that his mother could be acting so harshly toward him, and that she would break herself of this horrible habit.
It was a long while before either of the two said anything, both locked in their own minds, trying to figure one another out, as well as Ritsuka's mother's intentions. Where as Soubi was fine with just letting his thoughts float around in his mind, Ritsuka found the silence deafening. All he could hear were his thoughts on escaping this fate, and how he knew that he was going to die here if he stayed. Knowing the Fighter would help him in a moments just made the temptation to escape that much more appealing, yet he felt that he couldn't act on his emotions. That it would cause more trouble then he would be able to handle.
“Soubi,” he finally said, making the blonde look at him with piercing eyes. “Even if I wanted to escape, where would I go? What would happen to mom?”
“She will either get better or worse, and you will live with whomever you choose,” Soubi replied. “Create your own destiny, Ritsuka. Don't let your fears get in the way.”
“Get me out of here,” Ritsuka finally said in a raised voice. He tried to sit up, but was confronted with a dizzy spell and laid back down. “Just please don't hurt mom...”
“Is that an order?”
“Yes.”
Standing up, he took the injured boy in his arms, some necessities, and left the room. He would never see the little room again, not after Ritsuka's mother lost it and killed herself there. Forever in mourning of loosing her two sons. Ritsuka would never know that, always believing that she had finally moved on and had a new life. He would tell the younger later, when he thought he would be able to handle it. But for now, lying and deceit were the only things that would put Ritsuka at ease, in which made them both a little happier in a depressing world.
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